I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
