where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize