so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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