My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
