I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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