bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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