smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
