my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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