Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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