I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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