About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
