i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
