You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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