Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
