just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you never un-have a 4some
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
