I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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