Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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