he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
