OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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