the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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