is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
