i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
