I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
