im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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