my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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