I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
