Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
