Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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