"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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