4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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