Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
