I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This baby is an asshole
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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