Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
