I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
