I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
