Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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