you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
