tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
