She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
