Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I smell stomach acid.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
