Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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