Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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