i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
