she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize