I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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