You smell like stripper and shame
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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