well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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