just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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