No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
