We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize