ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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