It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
