Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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