Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
