This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
