She's JV to your varsity
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
