Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
