2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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