i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
