benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
