just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
