I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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