Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
