it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Too much gin, very little bucket
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
