This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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