how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
