You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
