I hate all girls vehemently.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
