i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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