we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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