you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
