"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
