I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
