There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
