Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
