It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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